Courthouse shooting reveals darker side of Grand Marais
February 27, 2012 at 6:00 pm in Duluth News Tribune
The December incident involving Daniel Schlienz has shed light on a more ominous pattern men preying on underage girls.
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Courthouse shooting reveals darker side of Grand Marais
15 Comments
How many ways can you say “no”? It’s a small word, universally understood. Young women should learn to say that word, a lot as they go through the high school years. Advertisements abound – say “no” to drugs, say “no” to taking your clothes off (radio ad), say “no” to smoking and alcohol. Extend the word for sexual exploitation from older men. You can argue all angles of this problem until the cows come home. We all like to feel attractive, appreciated, valued, wanted, important, and loved. It’s a sad situation when young women are taken advantage of by older men for sex. Girls need role models that will help them “value” themselves first and foremost, no matter what the enticement. I don’t think many young girls realize the road that will be taken by an older man wanting sex – these men usually could care less about the girl’s feelings, pregnancy, or sexually transmitted disease. Heck, they’re not the person that will have to live with what comes with those “gifts”. Mothers can be the example many young girls learn from – look at home first – show your daughters that they have VALUE. Unfortunately, role models today like Brittney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton, Snookie, and others who portray lives of “porn stars” and the “porn star attire” that so many younger girls “think” is the way to dress and act – grab the attention in the wrong way. It’s actually “creepy” to think young girls are even “interested” in men in their 20’s and 30’s. I remember many of my friends thinking men in their 20’s and 30’s while we were in high school were “perverts and creeps”! Young women that have personal value in themselves are much less of a target for this type of behavior and all the other addictions and poor value choices that are sure to be presented as “choices” they encounter during their lifetime. A word of caution – the headlines are filled with women who are abducted and murdered by men almost every day, kidnapped and sold into sex trafficking , and the statistics are on the rise! Women are buying handguns at an alarming rate and taking concealed carry classes. Are they doing this to protect themselves from what, whom, when? I guess my thought would be from “men”. Now, that is something to think about. I don’t think the women who are arming themselves are worried about another woman attacking them, or a bear as they leave the mall, or even someone’s dog living in their apartment complex. No, I think women are really fearing for their lives and being attacked by men (boyfriends, casual acquaintances, husbands, or the stranger that comes looking for sex in the night), that’s the reason. Where is our society headed? Education to the problem of being attacked, taken advantage of when you are drunk or drugged, can happen in an instant. Parents possess the “tools” to keep this type of situation from happening – as the advertisement states, “talk to your kids”, they need you more than you will know. Role model – show good values – and teach them to say “no” and being okay with it when they do!
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I think this goes on in every populated area rural or urban – GM is not unique. Just a place to get more news at this time. I also think you can educate your children- male and female- but this is an age old thing and it won’t go away. Society that the kids live in today dictate their behavior more that their upbringing. The other side is that how many of these girls go looking for attention from an older man because there is no father figure in their lives to give them attention. There are so many questions as to why this behavior on both sides occurs that the argument will never be settled. Did any one see the bachelor recently when one of the contestants wanteed to skinny dip with him? His answer: Why not take advantage of the situation?
Hot debate. What do you think?
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What are the messages kids get about sex from our culture? What do they learn about sex from watching prime time TV? What do they learn from sex education?
Sex is fun. Have sex as much as you can when ever you can. If you don’t have sex all the time there is something wrong with you. As long as you practice safer sex anything goes. Never criticize anyone else for their choices about sex.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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The situation in GM sounds eerily similar to the Cloquet area when I was in high school in the early 80s. The article hits the nail on the head. Firstly, some young girls are impressed with a flashy ride, nice car stereo and life in the fast lane. Three things that many of the boys in their age set can’t offer. Secondly, some girls and/or their parents wouldn’t want to risk all the negatives involved with pressing charges . They would be ostracized and negatively labeled by many in the only community that they know.
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I think the title of this piece was not entirely accurate. What was revealed was not GM’s dark side alone… it is likely the dark side of any small town and big city. It just happened to surface in GM because of its small size combined with the horiffic shooting, giving the situation a very high profile. I think that this situation will exist in any town where the school-age young women are curious and interested in sex and the adult males are on the prowl, looking for such targets.
There are many social targets to blame and point at, and they are not unique to Grand Marais.
tom koehler
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Well maybe this scum got just what he deserved, although inadvertantly?
If he hadn’t been taking advantage of underage girls, he wouldn’t have been in jail, right?
Hot debate. What do you think?
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Parents, pay attention to what your kids are doing and this won’t happen.
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What is it that makes girls think they hav eto do this stuff? I agree with the writer who pointed out the role models in front of today’s kids lead them to think dressing like a porn star is desireable–but that is just today. This has been going on a long time, according to the article. I would like to t hink that good moral teaching in the home and church would counter this self-image and expectation that sexual activity is normal and desireable. But even those messages get overwhelmed by peer pressure and media. Think of this: all of these kids’ lives they have heard people called “sexy” instead of cute or handsome or other terms we older people heard. What does it mean to say “I’m sexy” or “he/she is sexy?” These are sources of the deep-seated expectation of sexual activity.
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Seriously, I could never have been in a position to have sex at 14, 15, 16 because my parents kept tabs on me. Stop making excuses and accept responsibility.
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Becareful what you do in your youth….it stays with you the rest of your life.
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I hesitated a minute before I gave you an ‘up’ on that one, tj, but you’re right.
The only problem is just how to convey that to the kids? They just never seem to want to accept advice from adults, I know I never did. Seems like when it’s hormones vs common sense, it’s a lost cause?
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I guess I got lucky…my parents were more fun than my friends.
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Shame on anyone for even agreeing to be a part of this article. I grew up in Grand Marais and there is NOT an epidemic of any kind. Beth Kennedy is a business owner and why in the world would she want to bring so much negative attention to our beautiful community? Especially about something that is NOT true? Dan was a few years older than me and I knew him well. He did NOT prey on young girls and he was not the ugly person they made him out to be. Young women date older men in every single community/town/city in the WORLD! Nothing different happens in Grand Marais than anywhere else. When my friends and I wanted to go to a party it was very hard for us to find a “buyer” for alcohol. Men were not offering to give us rides in their fancy cars or buy us gifts in exchange for sex. If girls were having sex with older men, it was their choice. Teach your children right from wrong and help them to make good choices in life. My boyfriend was 3 years older than me in the late 80′s and that was considered old. There were a few girls that dated even older men, but not many and there are no issues that parents need to be concerned with anymore than anywhere else. Wake up and accept responsibility for choices you make and don’t blame others when you don’t like those choices.
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What really shocks me is that some people leaving messages here and quoted in the article are defending the actions of Dan S. The guy was for convicted for have intercourse with a 15 year old when he was in his mid thirties! This is not a case of a girl pursuing a guy a few years older, this is a case of child molestation.
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Something about someone aged 25 or more going after those in high school. Probably not stimulating conversation they’re after.
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