September 17, 2011 at 7:00 pm in INFORUM
I recently was involved in a project that required shooting photos and a video.
Tags: columns, Life, Tammy Swift 2 Comments »
If a person just relaxes and is who they are the natural beauty will come through. Otherwise, everything looks staged and fake.
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Hi Tammy, many times people view themselves through the way they think others see them. If a young kid is told they are ugly, fat, no good, worthless, etc, enough times, eventually they believe it. No matter what they look like later in life. We see ourselves through our hearts and if our hearts are filled with negative seeds sown by those who were supposed to edify us, we have a negative view of ourselves.
I had low self-esteem growing up, I dressed nice and was popular but was not very confident. Being adopted, I had roots of rejection and abandonment and since my dad was not very emotional or affectionate I was lacking in a healthy foundation of acceptance. My mom would show it but I would push her away-reject her before she could reject me.
I was not good with girls in school and had only moderate success in college. Eventually I would come out of my shell when I moved away to another state. I was away from the familiar, away from the people and places the reminded me of failure and inadequacy. I ended up becoming a model and actor. I modeled for Adidas, Obermeyer, some local things in Aspen, CO where I lived and also appeared in a commercial for Pontiac and a movie as an extra. In honesty, I was a handsome man. Even got hit on by Kristin Davis in Starbucks. But I still had insecurities. I had a good life. Girls wanted me, I made money and I was happy but all the stuff that was still in my heart from before still kept me from being all I could be.
Eventually, as people accepted me, I saw how girls took to me and guys were jealous of me, I began to give myself permission to like and accept myself. But it wasn’t until I got saved that I was able to be free.
I gave up the acting career, which I could have excelled in, and started to pursue a life with Jesus Christ. I got involved in a church, read the Word and the heart of stone began to peel away revealing the hurt from things in the past. I began to trust God with those hurts and He began to pluck out the roots of pain so His love could take their place. I ended up being confident, whole and truly at rest-knowing how the maker of the universe saw me. And if He saw me like that than it doesn’t matter how others did, not even myself.
We are all fearfully and wonderfully made. Made by a perfect God.
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